Since the dawn of time, time has moved forwards. Then again, popsicles. Once upon a starkiss, I ate a tub of margarine. It's ok, it was fat free. And it tasted like popsicles. Earwax flavored popsicles. And popsicles .. are still marching on. This treat will soon be at an end, and now it's even sooner. And now it's even sooner. And now it's even sooner.

Did you ever buy a new hat? Boy I did once. That was awesome. Lost it though. That part wasn't awesome. I took a bunch of pictures of my underwear drawer trying to find it, but he never resurfaced. I wonder if he's buried in the sand somewhere in the middle of a rainforest. I would hate to be buried semi alive in the middle of a dense urban undergrowth that is bursting with pus and looks like Kenney Chesney. I got this wheel implant in my foot and it's kind of hurty. But I can go really really fast on sidewalks, but sometimes I crash into bodegas. It's ok the soda is only 45 cents a can there they made an exception. For once in my life, they made an exception. BUG PISS.

I have finally reached the point where I can forgive Angelina Jolie for taking Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston. It was a long arduous journey, but I think I'm finally there.

I had a long, tearful conversation about it with Batman last night, and he convinced me that it was for the best.

I used to live in the Land of the Dragons. It was a five mile walk to the grocery store, and every so often a mini dragon would nip at my heels, or breathe smoke on me. Then, its mother or father would groan and yell in my direction, so I would starting running and running faster and faster. I didn't have a car. Everything was bad, and the other people in the land stuck together. But only with themselves.

I got tired of living among Dragons. I decided to buy a car and drive to the Land of the Dinosaurs. Then I decided to move there once, in a dream. So I did. There was a ring of mushrooms living around the border, and they were excited to see me. They welcomed me, and patted me on the back, congratulating me on my arrival, on my decision.

Everything was fine for a while. But then I turned invisible. The mushrooms couldn't see me anymore. They didn't speak to me anymore. The dinosaurs weren't very scary. All of the scary dinosaurs had died off a long time ago. All that was left were plant eaters. Things were pretty boring and bland, but it was pretty easy living there. But I didn't like it.

One day, I saw a nacho chip standing in the middle of the street, wide eyed. I honked at him to move. I was in a hurry. But he just yelled "hey you!"

I yelled back "what?! move it!"

He said "..this place sucks!" And he disappeared.

And I can't help wondering where he went. I wish I could follow him.

But I don't know how to disappear.

buzz buzz buzz it's quite a hot topic

that i've got this huge pustule in my weiner

it probably has a billion germs on it




more on it as it develops

words words words USB FLASH DRIVES THAT

TASTE

LIKE

CEMENT

in your bathroom
your own home bathroom
i boned you in the butt

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THAT'S JUST OUR LEMON POPSICLE DAUGHTER AND HER COLLEGE OF JELLY DONUT HOLES

---

a a a a achoo

Once upon a time, shut up. You heard me, Coltrane. I'm sick as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore.



And so on.

color: left

IT'S A LONG SHOT, BUT I THINK I'LL TAKE HER IT

This burger was talking to me in my sleep last night. It was plotting against the spaghetti. He said the spaghetti was after me, and my pocket noodles. Spaghetti doesn't like pockets. It can't be contained by mere flaps of flesh. Flaps of velvet. Flaps of cotton. There, that's better. Cotton. The other white meat. I enjoy it. I enjoy things. Except this cold. I made love to it last night. I named my comforter "Prince Fartface". He didn't like it. I called him "Farty" for short. He didn't like that either. He tried to strangle me like a rented chainsaw. I didn't like that. I cut him in the testicles. Right in the testicles. He didn't enjoy that either. Then I cut a rug. The rug was mad. But he couldn't talk so I couldn't tell. Maybe he enjoyed it. I doubt he enjoyed it.

Back to the spaghetti. Lets not. I'm hungry. I want some texas toast. What do they call it before it's texas toast. Before it's toasted. They call it texas toast. They don't call it texas bread. They start calling it toast immediately. That's not fair. That's not fair to the other toast. Why do they have to do that. Maybe I want a peanut butter and jelly texas sandwich on regular bread that isn't toasted. Maybe I'm on a no toast diet. But no. You can't do that. That's not allowed. You have to toast it or the universe will go haywire. The universe will go haywire and a nebula will rape a quasar and the poor little quasar will cry and cry and cry until it grows up and is 25 and yells at me on a date. I can't help it. I'm sorry. The light from you just got to earth from billions of years ago. Give me a break. Here we go. Nachos. They taste too nachoy. Hey that's not a word, said the quasar. Then she threw a vase at my head. It hit me in the head, and I died, possibly. Then I ordered a taco. Taco taco taco taco. They brought two of them. I had to call them back and ask them to pick up the extra. I didn't want to be a cheat. But they said it was ok. I said no it's not ok. You brought me an extra taco. I didn't pay for this taco. You're running your business into the ground. I don't want to be arrested. I don't want to be arrested for stealing a taco. I could have paid for two of them. I just didn't feel like eating two of them. But they said it was fine. They didn't want to deal with it. It wasn't fair. They didn't want to deal with my second taco. Sometimes it's too much. Sometime I hope I find someone. I hope she will pay attention to my extra taco. That's all I ask. That's all I really want.

nothin else to post, soooooo ... we doin this.