Billy the Beaker and Coffee are two beakers who look like a beaker and a coffee cup. They live on our Earth, which is a parallel Earth to the Earth in the universe with the Frapshavers and the Sporktonians and the Volcano God. There are other beakers on Earth, but they came from Earth. One of them is the third of Billy the Beaker and Coffee's threesome (not gay). His name is Junior Beaker - no relation. He's not really famous like the other two. Well, Billy is famous. Coffee is more like a Kato. Anyhoosits, these days Coffee doesn't do a whole lot, but he used to have a job doing tech support. Then, for a while, he was a computer programmer. Then, he told everybody to kiss his ass, and took Billy up on his offer of monetary support. So now they sleep a lot and solve mysteries, like where the DVD remote went.

Junior has had a lot of odd jobs, but now he sells fluid. And ... and fluid accessories. Every beaker is born empty. When they get old enough, they can pour hypnotic fluid into themselves. It doesn't really serve a purpose. For normal beakers, anyway. You might think that it's weird, but they would think you're weird. Especially your taste in music. And that gross shampoo. It's not like tattooing themselves or anything. It's more like socks. Nobody likes them but for some reason we wear them anyway. Billy and Coffee are special, being energy beings and all. You see, there are also other coffee cups - living coffee cups, if you will. For the last few decades, Coffee thought he was one of them. Now he knows better. And now he's known his whole life that he's special. Except not. Look, time travel gets confusing. If you're a normal person and you go back in time, can you change history enough so that you're not the same person who went backwards? Maybe. Except then a different person would be changing history, and you might keep changing it. Eventually either the universe would explode, or you would be okay with how things turn out - and you would leave. Or die, I guess.

When you're an energy being, things are different. You can go change history and remember it, but then you changed it, so you have to change. Except you can't, because you're a fundamental supernatural force of the universe. Billy has blue hypnotic fluid, which isn't really fluid - and Junior's is red, which is actually hypnotic fluid. Which is just a name as it's not hypnotic, and has no function. Coffee's was brown, but now it's green because he had the chip put back in his head - except it's not really fluid at all. Let's put it this way - if you were a reporter asking Billy to explain it all, he would say "See, my hypnotic fluid is blue. And his is red." And Junior would say "So it is!" and do this thing where he opens his mouth in a sarcastic smile and turns around trying to look at it. Then Coffee would sigh, and you would stop asking questions. This is also how they respond when someone asks if they're related. Understand now? Oh, and Billy's wife Bismala has for-decoration-only pink fluid, as do many women. Except for her mother, who had dark red, and was kind of a bitch. She named her Bismala because "she's gonna want that stupid diarrhea medicine in her when she grows up, like those other sluts!", which was kind of a dick move - especially when it's a baby. Her dad was cool though, and he had a plumbing business and a moustache. His favorite customer had irritable bowel syndrome.

I feel like I should start over, because you’re probably confused. One day Billy and Coffee were lounging in Billy’s house as usual, playing Audio Olympics, when the special doorbell rang.

“Ping.”

“Pong.”

“P...ping! Close one!”

“Pong.”

“Ping! Holdin’ the button down!”

“Po … oops I missed. You win.”

GAAAAADDDZOOOOOKS!

“Hey it’s the special doorbell!”

“Ahem!”

“Fine, fine, differently abled doorbell.” Billy went and answered the door. “Heeeey, Disabled Larry!” Disabled Larry was sitting outside in his electric wheelchair. Since he was a beaker - with a medium yellow fluid - it was more of a hand cart. He was generally normal looking, but he had no legs. That’s not unusual for a beaker, but Disabled Larry couldn’t walk. He also had an eye that always looked the opposite direction.

That brings me to the first thing I should have told you about Billy - Billy has a lazy eye. Sometimes it’s the left eye, and sometimes he claims it’s the right eye. But, as he says, “So I only have one lazy at a time! So I don’t have lazy eyes, duh!”

Disabled Larry was holding a cake. “Hey Billy, I was wondering if you’d like some cake. My wife made it.”

“Sure come on in, Coffee loves cake!”

“That’s not funny.”

“Who said it was!”

“You. Hey Larry, what’s up.”

“Disabled Larry.”

Coffee sighed, then repeated himself. “Disabled Larry, what is up.”

“I brought you guys some cake.”

“Yeah, he brought some cake.”

Coffee muttered under his breath, “Sorry I asked.”

Bismala walked through the room. “Hey Bismala, would you like some cake?”

“Oh. Hi Larry. No thanks.”

“Disabled Larry. Why not? You think because I’m disabled I can’t make cake?” Everyone just stared for a minute. “Ha ha, got ya!” She left without saying anything.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s cake-intolerant.”

“Cake intolerant? How does that work?”

“If she eats cake, she shits for two days!” Bismala seemed to hear this somehow, and poked her head around the corner, giving Billy an incredibly disapproving none-for-you-this-year look.

“Well, you do! Anyway, yeah.”

“Just cake?”

“Just cake.” Coffee started to snore. They ignored him.

“So like, she can eat pie?”

“Yep. Loves pie. Can’t get enough pie.” This time, she poked her head back in and threw an empty plastic bottle at him, which bounced off his rim and went under the coffee table. Coffee himself opened an eye to see what was going on, then turned over.

“Damn it woman, that’s my head! I do my thinking in there!”

“Heh. Hey, I’m having a party tonight. You guys should stop by.”

“Maybe we will. Hey Coffee, you want to go to a party tonight?” He didn’t answer.

Disabled Larry, or DL for short, knew how to get him to go. “I’m ordering pizza!”

“Alright, I’m in.” He went back to sleep.