Here's a list I made when I was recently trying to decide on a pet, and a name.

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Possible pet names:

• Sprinkles
  
• Whiskers
  
• Steven
  
• Stephen
  
• Paprika (look into other spices)
  
• Dog (ironic hipster points - esp. if not a dog)
  
• Angela
  
• Sheldon (avoid if buying an armadillo - too hokey)
  
• Ribbons (save - poss. daughter's name?)
  
• Tyler
  
• George III (avoid - implies murder of two previous pets)
  
• Duck Henry
  
• Old Spice (call other companies - poss. ad revenue)
  
• Jesus
  
• Stefan
  
• George Foreman
  
• Melissa the Turtle (do not use if pet is not a turtle)
  
• Stevey
  
• Andréa
  
• Andre the Turtle
  
• "Helicopter" Moses
  
• Teegan
  
• Lisa Marie Claire
  
• Mutatey (if gotten free from cooling pond)
  
• Assface (esp. appropriate for a kitten)
  
• Steve
  
• Blowjob
  
• Patches
  

The ultimate winner? George Foreman the imaginary zebra.

Unfortunately, George Foreman was killed when he was hit by the Magic School Bus, so I've sworn off pets for now.

The internet just somehow bores me to tears. Or maybe I just don't find anything interesting. Nonetheless, I have nothing to share today.

Shooting people on the freeway?? Next thing you know, somebody's going to be driving through the mall! ...Oh.

I find unicorn missing the ark jokes incredibly trite. Just like the Old Testament.

This is how I feel lately. Like my life died at the party, and now I'm just scribbling rudenesses on its forehead. With a Sharpie, no less.

beautiful downtown Burbank!

man I bet an awesome superpower would be the ability to manifest new pairs of pants

also pizza

but not made of denim, probably crust and standard toppings

magical pepperoni!

for whence does said animal come

pepperonispace

Restart your horse to continue getting important updates

Pressure mounts for Microsoft to deliver with Windows 7

Wow. hey I'm a predict the future guys

look

hey guyysssss you're not lookinnnnnnnnnnnn

Pressure mounts for Microsoft to deliver with Windows 8

Pressure mounts for Microsoft to deliver with Windows 9

Pressure mounts for Microsoft to deliver with Windows 10

Pressure mounts for Microsoft to deliver with Windows 11

Giant space babboon rapes Jupiter, Neptune spared

Pressure mounts for Microsoft to deliver with Windows 12

You know what's never comin back into style? The handlebar moustache. Give it up. It's over.

Ok so I missed days already. It can't be helped. Helped it cannot be .. by me. Sometimes certain things have to fall away because of other things. And this week, I had other things.



My throat has been vaguely swollen for a few days, and it sucks. It constantly feels like I can't breathe, or I'm going to suffocate, or something. Makes it harder to swallow. And I already have problems with that. Plus, life sucks. And my leg itches. So there's that.

Yourtub video of the moment:

How many minerals can you name that appear on Mohs scale of hardness?

Corundum is a crystalline form of aluminium oxide (Al2O3) and is one of the rock-forming minerals. It is naturally clear, but can have different colors when impurities are present. Transparent specimens are used as gems, called ruby if red, while all other colors are called sapphire. In India a pinkish-orange sapphire is called padparadscha and a pink light-red sapphire is called patmaraga.

One reason I'm doing this is to look at my blockquote css. Dang that looks weird! Probably!

I wonder what the Mohs hardness of a Republican's heart is

oink oink POLITICS

Come back soon I got to be hilarious

Edit: I lost it

Edit 2: Smilers